My son once told me that the questions I had for him were my questions, not his. And I realized that as adults we want to know what students are doing to live OUR adult lives. They don’t have to answer our questions yet.

I think the tricky part here is that we keep thinking about what the most selective schools want. There’s this idea that at 15, you’re supposed to be done cooking. You’re supposed to know what you want to do with your career, where you want to live, how you’re doing everything. So students take the classes they think will lend to that. But how do you know?

So you had one year where you demonstrated that you were being taken out of the oven too early. So what? If you learn from it, that’s all that matters.

This is also why the essays are so important. They provide you with an opportunity to show what you learned and how you have grown.

Also remember that people putting expectations on you are people who are experiencing life differently. They are paying bills, trying to get a mortgage, trying to advance in their careers. And yes, that is scary for adults. And yes, we want to make sure the struggles we have won’t be yours. But that doesn’t mean that we know what will be expected of you in five years, ten years, or whatever.

In short, while people’s hearts are in the right place, it doesn’t mean that the path they are paving for you doesn’t have potholes and that you aren’t allowed the trip. So, trip, queen, trip. And then prance!